Question asked on Sept 2nd, 2018

Q: My husband started an affair with a barmaid, shortly after left our home with the clothes on his back and nothing else (his choice not mine). He as abandoned the kids and me. Don’t see him for weeks, zero phone calls and I try to stay in contact with him so kids can maintain a relationship, but he has been uninterested. NOW He is wanting our 13 year old twins to meet his girlfriend who is a documented criminal who he is living with. Can I stop that from happening–he wants overnights. We have done nothing formally and kids understand nothing. Barmaids documented criminal basics: prison for DUI stay became 3 yrs instead of 18 months due to bad behavior, child endangerment while under the influence, 3 dui’s, beating up elderly mother inlaw-slapping & pulling hair, possession of prescription drugs, not hers with intent to use, inhalants in possession with intent to get high, lost custody of her minor children and more.

A: In the absence of a court order, the two of you have joint legal and physical custody of the children — including the right to determine who associates with them.  The only way to change that reality is to file an action — at least for custody, perhaps for divorce — and ask for orders as you feel necessary.  Obviously, there are more facts involved, and you should schedule a full consultation with this office or other family law specialists.  In the meantime, you should review the information posted here, which will tell you what is, and is not, relevant to a custody determination.